I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
