Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
