Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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