I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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