how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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