I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im holly from the hills drunk
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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