She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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