i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
