Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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