Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
and she was petting her beer can
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
