I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
