i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
