Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
nutella sex= disaster
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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