I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
