Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
