'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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