i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
