Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
