is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
