He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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