ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
