So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
