My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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