She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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