I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When are your genitals available?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize