idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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