Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
