Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
