Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
