I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
NoShamevember. You game?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
