he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
