My hand turned me down
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
