dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
smell my finger.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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