# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
