We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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