she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
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