make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
