There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
