32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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