How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize