More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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