she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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