she looked like the before picture.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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