Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I supernannyed him into submission
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
