dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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