for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
