YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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