she was so not down for the gang bang
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
