i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
