Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
