Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
