how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
