I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize