The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drake has all the answers
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
