I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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