We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
