i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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