I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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