sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
