this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
