Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
But we have bathrooms and they dont
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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