I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
