who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
