I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
