We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
