the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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