I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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