Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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