Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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