So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
