remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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