Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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