i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
