Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
