I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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