: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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