Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
