16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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