I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
