you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize