I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
