Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
