walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize