discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize