How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
