you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
