There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
