I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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