I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
