Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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