im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
