if you like me you must not know who I am
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
