My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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